Girl and City

Dear SnootyAsianGirl,

I never had a good first impression of you, but I wanted to give you a chance by including you in our negotiations team. What do I get in return? You are a clueless, useless member of the team, and all you do is flirt with the guys on the other team. When you took the wrong hand-out at the end of last class and ended up being unprepared for our negotiation, do you remember the first thing you said? “SG, I think you gave me the wrong hand-out!” Um, no. You took the wrong hand-out, and then I chased you down as you were leaving to give you the right one, and you STILL ended up reading the wrong one!
You seemed like a smart girl at first, but now I am having serious doubts. I mean, if you realized you read the wrong hand-out, you probably aren’t in a position to negotiate concessions with the other team when you don’t even know what you’re talking about. When we were close to reaching a deal, you randomly started threatening them, breaking down all the rapport we had built with the other team. In those situations, shouldn’t you just keep your mouth shut? How clueless are you?

So, please, do us all a favour – for this week’s negotiation, just be quiet. In fact, don’t even show up to class at all. I’m sure the rest of us will do just fine without you.

Your Frustrated Team-mate,
SassyGirl

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Dear CockyBlondeJock,

You are an arrogant prick, and I don’t like you. I don’t know why you insist on teasing/flirting with me every chance you get but it is getting really annoying, so please STOP. What else do I have to do for you to get the message that I don’t want to talk to you? I’ve already tried ignoring you, dissing you in front of your friends, and yelling at you to leave me alone. Seriously, how stubborn are you? There are plenty of other girls in our school who would gladly flirt with you, why don’t you bother one of them? If you have an Asian fetish, there are plenty of other Asian girls here. If you have a petite girl fetish, there are also plenty of petite girls. But if you have a SassyGirl fetish, I can’t help you.

Not Interested,
SassyGirl

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Dear BoysFromClub(s),

I am really liking the new trend of asking to dance with me as opposed to just rubbing yourselves against my behind. Thank you for that. Unfortunately, the answer is still, “No.”

Nice Try,
SassyGirl

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Dear Value Investing,

I hate you. Every day, I wonder why I took your course. I don’t care that it worked for Buffet, it is not something I plan to do. And yet you continue to punish me with these dense annual reports of companies I’ve never heard of. Why, why, why do you torture me like this?

Your Anti-Disciple,
SassyGirl

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Dear Value Investing Group Members,

If you can’t speak English, don’t write the report. And if you ask me to edit it for you, then why did you still hand in the unedited version? Thanks for wasting my time.

Ungratefully,
SassyGirl